Coming back || @claraaoswlds

claraaoswlds:

How long had it been since he left? It hurt Clara’s heart to even think about it; how easily she’d been left behind without even a proper goodbye. Not that a goodbye would have made it easier, but there was just nothing. She didn’t know if he was even still alive, and that worry ate at her constantly. Did he have someone new? Someone to keep him in line, to keep him from being a huge idiot—unlikely; he was always an idiot, even more so since he flew away in that box and never came back. Somehow she’d managed to pick her life up again, but even then she still couldn’t help but to listen for him, for that wheezing and groaning sound of the TARDIS. Clara hated him for that, for making her wait; Clara Oswald did not wait for anyone, yet she always found her gaze searching for him, for that bright blue box.

Danny was no replacement, and they’d only gone on a few dates. He was nice and he treated her well, which was certainly good. Clara cared about him, but still there was a part of her that still belonged to him. Still, she was moving forward. Stolen moments full of flirting and perhaps a kiss or two usually took place in her classroom during her lunch period. Her lips almost on his, the knock broke her away from him, and then the door swung open to reveal the face she’d only seen within her dreams for the longest time.

          ❝     Danny, I have to…     ❞

Her voice trailed away, and Danny nodded, seeming to understand that there was a conversation to be had between the two. He muttered something about calling her later on, but Clara hardly heard a thing; all she could focus on was that he was here. The Doctor was standing just inside her classroom, and her heart broke all over again. She looked down to the floor, soft and timid footsteps carried her to the door. With a small push she closed it, with the Doctor in the room with her. It was no use hiding the fact that she wanted to cry, salty tears welling up in her eyes; Clara thought she had let him go, but apparently she was wrong.

          ❝     What are you… why are you here?
                                 You left me, why come back?    ❞

He still didn’t know what to think. Certainly, this wasn’t what he was expecting. It bothered him so much to see her like that with someone else, but yet—who was he to complain? She was living her life, and so should he. Would come back even seen like a very good idea now? His TARDIS was waiting for him in the same place he left her; actually, she wasn’t going anywhere. Perhaps he should move, go somewhere. But, after looking at Clara’s eyes, seeing those tears running through her face—how could he leave?

Perhaps the TARDIS was an example. An example that he shouldn’t be going anywhere. In fact, he should’ve never left, and the hurt on the woman’s eyes starting at in right now was telling him the same. The Doctor couldn’t but to open a smile, even a small one, in response of having her so close, so near. He wanted to touch Clara, but no matter them being in the same room—she’d never felt so distant. He aimed to take another step and shorten the distance between the two of them, but it didn’t seem the most appropriate thing to be done in the moment.

There were no words good enough to answer her; no words would justify his actions. He knew it. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. And he did it with the only card left to be used – the truth.

         ❝   I am here because.. I miss you. I left once, and I’m so, so sorry. But I came back; for you. And here I am, Clara. Begging your pardon for being so… me. We had a strong thing growing between us, and I was.. Well, I was afraid. So I ran away.  ❞

                                         ❝   And I have never been so wrong in my entire life.   ❞